...in spades

I'm writing this because if I don't I'll probably die or something.

A really really long time ago:

• My parents took away (physically removed) my Xbox360, computer, and (slightly crappy) laptop, leaving me a note about how I would get my things back when my grades got better. The only pieces of technology that I was allowed to hold on to were my DS Lite (which they didn't know the nature of on the day of reckoning) and my iPod video.
  

A few days ago:

• My iPod got stolen by a carpet cleaner while I was at school. Tough luck for me.
  

Two days ago:

• I used a DSLinux boot CD on a computer in Sculpture class in order to make the computer not run like a sloth on a cold day covered in tar with weights attached to its legs (sans windows, in other words). The substitute apparently, like 98% of the faculty of the school district of the zip code 03052, had no clue what I was doing. (more on that later)
  

Yesterday:

• A teacher who supervises a study hall that I used to be in asked me where I had been for so long, and I had to explain to her that I was transferred long ago away from that study hall and into a different study hall
• My parents basically told me that there's nothing that I can do to get my Xbox360, computer, and laptop back, regardless of my ever-increasing grades, and the fact that I've been working my ass off on my schoolwork since they took away my stuff September 27, two days after I got my hands on Halo 3.
  
• Any mention to my parents of how my grades have greatly improved lead to them saying that the satisfaction of securing a successful future should be enough of a reward (so why would I want my 360?)
• Any mention to my parents of the fact that nothing bad would come of me having my 360 lead to them saying that my desire to have my 360 back proved beyond doubt that I'm "addicted" to it, and as such, if I was to get my 360 back, I would be consumed in "addiction" again. (this is complete bunk...the end. There's nothing to it. Like religion, this theory requires no actual proof to be deemed factual)
• Any mention of the original note that they wrote me back in September about how, with good grades, I would get my stuff back, lead to blank (possibly senile) stares. They don't remember anything of the kind.

Today:

• I was read the riot act by the Sculpture teacher about how I shouldn't be "downloading stuff on the computer" and how I had "crossed the line". (see Two Days Ago) He said he wouldn't talk to me about it because he wasn't going to "take attitude from a seventeen-year-old kid". The fun never stops.
  

Growing up and the death of innocence

When I was young, the world was a different place, at least for me. Maybe it was the same for others, but I can't speak to that. When I was a kid, before I went to school for the first time, the world was a wonderful place. I was going to be friends with everyone. It never entered my mind that anyone I knew would ever break the law. America was the best country in the world, with the most freedoms, and the most money. When I turned 16, I would get a car because when you're 16, you can drive. I would get an electric car, because the environment is important. I would help out my parents by taking cans and bottles to the dump to be recycled.
When I got older, I would go to the best college in the world because I would get straight A's. After I graduated from college #1 in my class, I would marry the girl of my dreams and we would buy a house and have kids. I would invent something amazing and we would become rich. Then, I would become president, and give food to poor people. I would explain to all of the other leaders in the world how silly killing people is, and they would understand and everyone would be friends.

That is literally how my mind worked when I was a kid. One by one, throughout the years, every single one of my beliefs has been proven wrong. Every concept has turned out to be a misconception.

Most of the people that I'm friends with do at least one of the following things: steal, drink (underage), smoke cigarettes (underage), drugs, etc. In fact, most of the kids in the school that I go to do all of those things. Logically, one would think that the teachers would be some kind of a guiding influence, but this is not the case. Incompetence in teachers at my school is so prevalent that even the hungover half-baked students that they're teaching notice it. Teachers are lazy. A lot of the time, some teachers don't have a clue what they're talking about. Some teachers grade homework assignments as 100% if they get it passed in. A lot of the students at my school don't bother to pass in their homework.

America is at war with an idea. It sent in troops and invaded a country who's people didn't want them to be there. The national debt is skyrocketing by the day. Politicians lie, and cheat. People manipulate the voting system so that they can vote more than once. The government is spying on its citizens. Suspicious people are sent to Cuba. People in prisons are tortured. Soldiers aren't receiving proper medical care. People hate the president, and people are saying that the president should be impeached. There was a hurricane, and people were left homeless, and it took days until help arrived.

Gas is expensive. Cars are too, but are more expensive if you don't want to use gas, and want to try to stop the environment from heating even more, melting the polar ice caps, and causing more islands to disappear beneath the ocean. Since gas is so expensive, we stopped going to the dump as often as we did, and a lot of people have done the same.

School turned out to be harder than it seemed at first. We are all products of our environment, and to fit in I became like my friends. The only thing that distinguished me last year from a stoner was that I've never used illegal drugs. Also, it turns out that girls are a lot more complicated. On closer inspection, it's a lot harder to do what you want to do and say what you want to say to someone that you care about. Fear of failure can be more repelling than the worst phobias a person can have.

Everything is not the candy-covered sugar-coated fantasy that it once seemed to be. The people you once thought you could trust can't be trusted. The things you thought you could rely on are lies. I guess this is part of growing up, but no one ever told me that my innocence would die.